My adventures in the woods, streams, rivers, fields, and lakes of Michigan

Flowers? We don’t need no stinkin’ flowers!

Warning!!! Many flowers were killed in the making of this post! Please go elsewhere if you are one of those deranged people who enjoy seeing flowers!

Today, while I was doing my daily walk around Byron Lakes apartments, what I saw pretty much sums up the philosophy of the new manager here.

Trimming the flowers off from a flowering bush

Yes, you are seeing that correctly, the groundskeeper is using a gas-powered hedge trimmer to hack the flowers off from a flowering bush.

Getting rid of those stinky, nasty flowers that every one hates

I used to like flowers, in fact, I thought that I loved flowers, but I have the new manager here to thank for showing me the error of my thinking.

Thanks to Mary Dye’s careful re-education program, I have learned that flowers are to be destroyed! In the first place, the plants that flowers grow on are untidy and grow of their own accord, how dare they?

Then there are the flowers themselves, they are so brightly colored that they hurt the eye when you think about it. Who really wants to see things like these?

Those lilacs bring up another thing about flowers, they stink. Who would want to open their windows to smell those stinky old lilacs, when they could rather be smelling their neighbor’s trash rotting in the stairwell?

Ahhh, the sweet smell of rotting garbage!

Even better is the smell of dirty diapers hung out on a doorknob to ripen in the sun!

But who in their right mind would want to see this….

…when they could be seeing this….

Where the nasty wildflowers used to grow

…or this?

Where those nasty wildflowers used to grow

Yes, thanks to Edward Rose, Byron Lakes apartments, and Mary Dye, I now love the sight of barren ground rather than those unsightly flowers that used to grow here.

You may well ask why they don’t just kill all the flowers here at one time and be done with it. Well, there are those unreasonable holdouts who haven’t come over to the correct way of thinking yet, and still believe that they like flowers. So, management here has a plan, kill everything that flowers a little at a time, and eventually, every one will learn to love the dying and dead plants.

Besides, those plants used to cost money to maintain, and Edward Rose is now all about cheap. And, since all tenants are scum, they don’t deserve anything nice anyway. What am I saying? Flowers are not nice, they are nasty smelly things to be killed! Please forgive me Mary, I had a little slip there.

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24 responses

  1. snowbirdpress

    Hi, I am allergic to flowers… I get deathly ill from their perfume…(anyone’s perfume for that matter.)… but I still grow my peonies, lilies, etc…. I just let them flower outdoors… But I do know the pain of having your lungs closing up on you so have a feeling someone is elderly and going through a rough time at your place. Understanding all around always helps solves problems.

    June 12, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    • Thanks for the comment, and for bringing that up. I could understand it if there was some one having trouble with the scent of the flowers in one or two buildings here, but there are 30 or 40 buildings, and when I have inquired why they are trimming the plants the way they do now, the answer is “so that they will look neat and tidy”

      June 12, 2012 at 2:37 pm

      • snowbirdpress

        Hi, I know. I’ve even heard of cemetaries also banning flowers…they say because of mosquito trouble … There’s always someone protecting us from ourselves….

        June 12, 2012 at 3:22 pm

  2. Well now, neat and tidy is what we all should strive for. I will immediately after posting this go out side and behead my roses. They are too stinky anyway. I would like to smell the water treatment facility 2 miles up the road – we call that country air, if you didn’t know that.
    Maybe because it looks “better”, the Roshaefer bugs are constantly munching on my flowers. Oh and let me not forget to remove the blooms in the flower boxes. I bought some ugly lavender yesterday and before it goes in the ground, guess what will happen…

    I loved your post. It made me laugh out loud and then I was sad. Oh the clueless among us

    June 12, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    • Thanks for the comment and the moral support, it is really sad when you live in a place where the remove flowers in bloom.

      June 13, 2012 at 10:12 am

  3. These people don’t seem to have a clue. I’ve never seen anyone trim a shrub that was blooming.

    June 12, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    • Well, you have now, even if it was only in a photo. Pretty incredible, isn’t it?

      June 13, 2012 at 10:07 am

      • Incredible for sure, and ignorant. If they trim off all the flowers there won’t be any fruit for the birds.

        June 13, 2012 at 10:13 am

      • I think that’s the idea.

        June 13, 2012 at 10:26 am

  4. Northern Narratives

    I would give up blogging before I give up my lilacs!

    June 12, 2012 at 5:56 pm

    • Thanks, and can you believe that they trim the lilacs here so as not to bloom?

      June 13, 2012 at 10:05 am

      • Northern Narratives

        That’s a crime 🙂

        June 13, 2012 at 5:17 pm

  5. I can’t help you with the flowers, but maybe I can help you cry.

    June 12, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    • Thanks, but I’m not the type to sit around and cry over trimmed flowers, time to find another place to live where they value beautiful things like flowers.

      June 13, 2012 at 10:04 am

  6. Crazy, stupid people!!! 😦

    June 13, 2012 at 2:49 am

    • Thanks, I don’t think that people believed me before when I told them how things are being done around here now.

      June 13, 2012 at 10:12 am

  7. Kim

    I think I agree with your impulse to move from that place. That’s just awful. But maybe before you leave you should send them a letter so they know their actions have had a negative financial impact (I’m sure they’re expecting to save money by hacking down all the flowers, so this might make them think twice). And it wouldn’t hurt to explain how this affects the birds…. Hugs to you for having to watch this happen.

    June 14, 2012 at 10:05 am

    • I am totally flabbergasted still – I wonder why they even keep the things in the ground or why they planted flowering bushes. There is enough out there in the way on non flowering material. I just don’t get it

      June 14, 2012 at 2:21 pm

      • It’s really quite simple. When this place was built, corporate had standard landscaping that they put in. The old manager and staff took great pride in both the landscaping and the wildlife here, and used those as selling points. The grounds here were meticulous for the first 4 years I lived here.

        Two years ago a new manager was moved here, and she doesn’t give a rat’s rear end about flowers, wildlife, the landscaping, and least of all, the tenants. She wants everything neat and trim no matter what, and that includes killing birds and bunnies if it comes down to that.

        June 14, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    • Thanks Kim. I sent an email to corporate, and even talked to some one from there on the phone, not that it did any good.

      June 14, 2012 at 2:58 pm

  8. plantsamazeme

    Absolutely Unbelievable!
    😦

    June 15, 2012 at 7:24 am

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