R. T. Hawk Rodent Control, at your service!
WARNING! The following commercial contains graphic depictions of how the employees of R. T. Hawk Rodent Control dispose of unwanted rodents. While this is an environmentally friendly means of disposal, the squeamish or those who love rodents should surf to another blog now. Actual rodents were harmed in the making of this commercial. Parental discretion is advised.
Homeowners, do you spend hours each week working to maintain a well manicured lawn only to see your hard work destroyed by mice, moles, voles, or other small rodents? Do you wish that there was an environmentally safe way to control the rodent population in your yard?
R. T. Hawk Rodent Control is pleased to announce that now you can get the rodent control that you deserve! No more traps! No more poisons! No more dead rodents to dispose of!
We at R. T. Hawk Rodent Control can remove the unwanted rodents from your lawn for you, quickly and efficiently, and best of all, at no cost to you!
How can we make such an amazing offer? It’s easy. We at R. T. Hawk Rodent Control search the countryside for unemployed hawks. You know the ones that you often see along the expressways holding signs that say “Will work for mice”.
We recruit those hawks and put them to work for you!
One call does it all! Just call 1-800-EAT-MICE now, and one of our highly trained, skilled, and very hungry employees will go to work for you removing all those unwanted rodents from your yard soon.
How does our service work? Well, thanks to the photography of our friend, Quiet Solo Pursuits, we can show you how it all happens!
(While we at R. T. Hawk Rodent Control would like to thank Quiet Solo Pursuits for providing these photos, we do wish that he was a better photographer. But, since we strive to provide our services for free to those who need it, we didn’t pay him anything, so we suppose you could say we got what we paid for.)
When you call 1-800-EAT-MICE, here’s what you’ll get! One of our employees arrive to scan your property for any unwanted rodents using his highly developed sense of sight.
Once one of the pesky varmints is spotted, he will leap into action….
…capture the rodent before it can make its escape…
…remove the varmint from your lawn…
…then dispose of the unwanted vermin in an environmentally friendly manner, leaving no mess behind what so ever!
(Well, almost no mess, but we won’t talk about that as it ups the eew factor considerably)
We here at R. T. Hawk Rodent Control call it the scan, swoop, snatch, and snack method, and in case you missed it, here it is again.
As you can plainly see, our highly skilled and motivated workers can soon have your lawn virtually rodent free! So don’t delay, call 1-800 -EAT-MICE today!
This is a limited time offer and may not be available in all areas. This service is subject to the availability of hawks in your area. While our service has been approved by the EPA, R. T. Hawk Rodent Control is not responsible for any protests you may receive from PETA or any other animal rights groups. Nor is R. T. Hawk Rodent Control responsible if one of our employees harms other species of wildlife. Use this service at your own risk.
That’s all for this one, thanks for stopping by!